“Should my family be complete before starting a surrogacy journey”
This is a question that I am asked all the time.It’s something that I personally have done myself, so my opinion is defiantly based on personal experience, and obviously the answer will be different for everyone.
One sunny day, I was out for a ride with a friend of mine who offered the topic of surrogacy to me.She had just been matched and was pretty passionate about it.I had so many questions for her, and she luckily had lots of answers.
At the time I had two vibrant 4 year olds who were a whole lot of energy, and a whole lot of work.My husband and I knew we wanted to add to our family, but not for some time.I was young (24), and we honestly had no time line in sight of adding to our family.We just knew that one day we would like to add 1 or 2 more.
After lots of talking, we decided that it was time to move forward with a journey.But something we both agreed on was that I would need to be ok with the possibility of never having any more children.Having a baby, whether your own baby or a surrogate baby, comes with risks.During pregnancy and birth, especially in the case of multiple gestations (twins, triplets), a woman always has the risk of experiencing complications that could permanently damage her fertility.And so for me this was a question that I felt any women considering surrogacy should truly ask herself.Although the risk is small- is it something I was ok with?
For me, that answer was yes.My family is already non-traditional.So if it meant adding to our family thru adoption down the road, we agreed that we were comfortable with it.That and we already had the “million dollar” family too.So I knew it wouldn’t be an awful thing if we got to just enjoy the two we had!
Luckily I went on to have a wonderful surrogacy birth, and no complications to my fertility at all.My husband and I got pregnant 6 months after my surrogacy was done.And now have a beautiful 3rd child.Would I do my surrogacy again before adding to my family? HECK YES! Was hands down, an amazing experience and I’m glad I did it when I wanted to instead of waiting.
We would love to add more to our family still- and funnily enough we are again in the talks of another journey again before our family is “complete”.For now, I’ll enjoy my 3 healthy, happy kids!
When it comes down to it the bottom line is; making the decision to become a surrogate is something that should be carefully considered, but it also can be one of the most rewarding experiences of a person’s life.
Angie Campeau
Surrogacy Support Worker
Canadian Fertility Consulting
***www.fertilityconsultants.ca
