Intended Parent from Long Beach, New York, USA.
Explain your reasons for wanting a surrogate/donor:
When people hear my cancer story for the first time, they're often amazed, touched, and even deeply moved."Wow!" they proclaim, "You beat cancer! That's amazing!" I did.And it was for sure, the hardest fight of my life.Sometimes even I'm amazed.But that sense of elation, joy, and ultimate victory is immediately tempered by the invisible scar cancer left on my heart, creating- and then advancing- the haunting uncertainty of whether or not I'd ever have the family I imagined. I found that lump in my breast on March 16, *** was officially diagnosed with breast cancer on April 16, and the surgery for my double mastectomy was scheduled for May 9, followed by intensive chemotherapy that would last from June through November.The realization that my family-my brand new baby boy and the college sweetheart I waited over 15 years to officially marry-could be taken away from me scared me completely, but miraculously forced me to be brave.I survived the unending nausea, fatigue, and emotional roller coaster that comes with ridding your body of this most toxic and lethal invader.I regretfully observed my hair fall out and my body change, noting this was all par for the course, and bravely-but sadly- accepting it. The entire time, I kept my end goal in mind: I wanted to live my life with my family. After my surgery my oncologist confirmed I was BRCA 2 positive and subsequent removed my ovaries and tubes, so that I can not have any more children. I remember the day he told me this: the day when my heart began to break alongside the rest of the body. I remember their urgency to begin chemotherapy, and my urgency to retrieve my eggs first.Everything about cancer is devastating: the way it wrecks your life, your body, your career, your finances, your relationships… But nothing is quite as devastating as being told you can not be a mother; that your son can not have a sibling. I insisted on retrieving my eggs before beginning chemotherapy, as I knew that after it was completed, the medical staff was scheduled to remove my ovaries and tubes.By some magical, first stroke of luck since being diagnosed, my menstrual cycle perfectly aligned with the timeline to begin treatment.Furthermore, insurance payed for this single, most significant expense.So ultimately, my one opportunity to retrieve these eggs- just then, with zero glitches- was successful! We retrieved 6 eggs, and have 5 embryos.I know that this poignant happenstance: from medical timeline to seamless financing to fertilization success, is the way it was visioned be: I am intended to be a mother. The successful fertilization of our embryos carried me through the remainder of my treatment.I have been cancer-free since my chemotherapy finished on November 19, *** People are excited for me when they hear my story.But my story, while triumphant, is bittersweet.Yes: I beat this awful, heart-wrenching, and life-changing disease.But as we dueled, cancer left me with a far-reaching loss, even in the context of my "win." It robbed me of my ability to have children: the most natural right and biological instinct of every woman.As I relish the opportunity to live another day with my beautiful 3-year old son Dean, I regret the reality that I can not give him a brother, or expand our loving family.As I continue to be optimistic about our future, I can only hope that our prayers are answered, and we find a way to realize our dreams of a happy but humble existence, completed by the addition of another beautiful child we are committed to having.
Use this space to communicate a letter to potential Surrogates/Donors:
First we would like to say that if you’re reading this, it means that you are contemplating an extraordinary adventure! Without your help we will not have a family we imagined.You would be giving more than just the "Gift of Life", as incredibly precious as that is in itself, you would also be in the truly unique position of filling the hole in our hearts. We hope and pray that you are out there somewhere!