Rui, Portuguese Intended Parent in Toronto, Canada

Explain your reasons for wanting a surrogate/donor:

As a gay man I grew up considering being a father was not on my cards, but when I was around 29/30 y.o.the calling became too strong and I just couldn’t ignore it.When I was 30 I met Joel and I was thrilled to know that he shared the same dream of becoming a father. Being with someone who feels the same brought a new meaning to the concept of what family should be and also the will to find a way, no matter what it takes. For us, things never came easy.As a gay man I thought that getting married and getting a home with the man I love would be hard to achieve, and I was right, the path was full of obstacles, but we overcame them. And now, well…I usually tell my friends that it’s like nature is playing with you because “she” gives us signs that is time but at the same time “she” goes…”Ops…sorry you can’t!”.But I know we can, and we will. Since we started this process, we’ve been tremendously surprised by the number of positive messages from people willing to help us… it’s amazing how much support we find in this community! Thanks to their help, the path towards our dream is becoming clearer. We’re are working with a clinic in Toronto, where we just finished our medical exams to begin creating the embryos, with the help of our wonderful friend who has agreed to be our egg donor. A surrogate is now the only missing piece of the puzzle.We know it won’t be easy to find someone, but we’re putting lots of positive energy out there to find the right GC who’s willing to help us make our dream come true! There are more IPs than GCs, which makes sense – many of us dream of having a little one to call us dad! But on the other hand, it takes a special kind of person to become a surrogate, willing to put herself on the line for 9 months.

How would you best describe yourself(s):

I’m Rui, from Portugal, married to Joel Rendall, from Canada.We live together in Lisbon, and have been married for 6 years. We feel very lucky as a couple to have a strong, happy and stable relationship, and are ready to complete our family, with the help of a woman (let’s call her a “Hero”) willing to carry our baby.. Here’s a little bit more about us: I studied medicine for 3 years in Portugal and cellular biology for another 3, before doing a complete *** to work for an airline as a flight attendant, where I’ve been working for the last 12 years (and still love it!).And which will be very convenient, because it will be easy for us to fly to Toronto whenever our surrogate needs us. I like to think of myself as the rational problem-solver, but the jury’s out as to whether that’s accurate or not! 🙈 Then there’s Joel, my rock.He’s the one who always tries to make things fair and always willing to meet you in the middle – your typical kind, polite Canadian, with a pure heart.He’s the one who’s constantly teaching me that I’m not right all the time, and that yes, that’s ok! There isn’t anyone else in the world who I’d rather raise my child with, and I know that he’ll make an incredible father. Joel’s originally from Muskoka, Ontario.He studied music in Toronto, then performed on cruise ships for a couple years before deciding to make the move to Portugal. Together we founded a company that supports other foreigners like him who are looking to improve their Portuguese, (which you can find on Facebook as “Practice Portuguese”).And Joel is currently working in our project full-time, which again will make it easier whenever we have to fly and be here for those important moments. The success of our business allowed us to purchase our first home together last January, where we currently live with our dog.Her name is Elza, and she hopes you can help us too… She’s been noticing a steady increase in the amount we pick her up to cradle her in our arms, singing to her like a baby, and she really needs a break!

Use this space to communicate a letter to potential Surrogates/Donors:

Here we are, hoping for a miracle.We’d love to hear from you if you’d consider embarking on this journey with us as our Hero.Ideally we would like to find a TD or GS from Canada, since that's where we would fly to most easily. We believe we will be as flexible as possible and be sure to spoil our surrogate as much as we can 🙈 Of course we can't speak from experience yet, but when we hear about certain demands some IPs put on their GC it seems much more intense than what we would be requesting.We are just grateful to have the ability to do this, so I think we would be very easygoing. Visits: Although we live in Lisbon, Portugal, Rui’s airline job makes flights to Toronto very accessible, (and of course, Joel is always happy for an excuse to visit his homeland!).Therefor we will be able visit several times throughout the process in order to be as supportive to the surrogate as possible whenever she needs it the most...and of course, spoil her with yummy food and keep her stocked up on the best Portuguese olive oil! :) Communication: We‘ll spend lots of time talking over a distance, so whether the surrogate mother prefers video, phone, text or a combination of all three, we are flexible.We will work together to find a great balance between staying in good touch throughout the pregnancy, (while still respecting the surrogate mother’s boundaries, of course). Delivery: We will absolutely be present on delivery day to support the surrogate mother during her big moment, and to meet our child as soon as possible!